Hey you! Yes, you, the second cousin of that The Guess Who guitarist who’s trying to book gigs playing “American Woman”? The jig is up. In twenty states – most recently Nevada – it is now illegal to perform using a band name if you don’t have any of the original members. Some veteran artists have been outspoken in this band-banning crusade. The loudest voice has been Bowzer from Sha Na Na, whom we barely knew existed outside of our mothers’ vinyl collection and Adam Sandler’s “Chanukah Song.” Along his journey, he gathered the support of Mary Wilson from The Supremes, who claims that at one point, there were five different fake-Supremes touring the country. So who’s banned from playing the Las Vegas Strip? Read on:
The L.A. Guns
Despite the fact we probably wouldn’t see them if they were playing for free in our backyard, L.A. Guns offer an interesting case study. Currently, there are two L.A. Guns touring the country. One contains the founding member, Tracii Guns. The other employs singer Phil Lewis, who wasn’t a founding member, but he was the lead singer on the debut album, which was largely penned by Paul Black, who now is the lead singer of the Tracii’s L.A. Guns. But Lewis established himself as the voice of L.A. Guns, and he’s joined by a rhythm section that played on the majority of the albums. The Paul Black L.A. Guns, which have been touring as The L.A. Guns, may have to change their name in the event they play one of the twenty states with the law.
The Beach Boys
The ongoing legal battles between Mike Love and Al Jardine is what inspired us in the first place to investigate the sordid world of band names. Al Jardine, who’s technically a founding member of The Beach Boys (he took a year off in ’63), had been sued for touring under the name Beach Boys Family & Friends. Mike Love insisted that he had ownership of The Beach Boys name, rewarded by Brothers Records, the trademark holder, which Al Jardine is a minority shareholder. Courtroom melees ensued. Currently, Love tours amphitheatres the nationwide as the Beach Boys, while Jardine is currently performing in Europe with Brian Wilson, who too doesn’t tour under the Beach Boys moniker. Under the new law, they can all tour as The Beach Boys. Good vibrations all around.
The Supremes
While we couldn’t find anything to validate Mary Wilson’s claim that there were five acts supposing to be the Supremes playing simultaneously in Las Vegas, there is evidence that replacement Supremes have gone out on their own as a Supremes incarnation. The most noteworthy is the band Former Ladies Of The Supremes, or F.L.O.S., which originally comprised of Diana Ross’s replacement and other Supremes fill-ins. That revolving group just celebrated their twentieth anniversary, giving them a longer career than the act whose identity they’ve stolen.
The Drifters
By our count, there are three different The Drifters, but we assume there’s plenty more in dirty clubs along the Atlantic City boardwalk. Considering there is only one living member of the Drifters, Bill Pickney, it’s obvious that he should tour as The Drifters, but instead he’s in The Original Drifters. The group that’s currently touring as The Drifters features no original Drifters. Luckily for that act, they perform strictly in the UK, out of the jurisdiction of this new law. There’s also the Beary Hobb’s Drifters, whatever that means. Which brings us to the worst abusers of a band name ever. . .
The Platters
There’s a whole frigging smorgasbord of Platters. Currently coming to a town near you:
Sonny Turner’s Platters
The Platters Featuring The Legendary Monroe Powell
An All-Star Platters Revue (the All-Stars being random members from other random fake Platters)
The Magic Platters (They play France)
The Buck Ram Platters (Doesn’t even feature original Platter Buck Ram, he’s dead)
The Amazing Platters
Zola Taylor’s Platters
The Legendary Platters
The Golden Platters
East Coast Platters
West Coast Platters
The Magic Platters
Sounds of the Platters
Joe Coleman’s Platters
Platters Eighty One
Jesse Furgeson’s Platters (Furgeson played in “The Original Platters,” another Platters off-shoot, then created his own Platters off-shoot.)
Why so many? Jean Bennett, who purchased the management of The Platters back in 1966, operated the group like a McDonald’s, eager to franchise the act for a cut of the profits. There have been countless lawsuits concerning the endless barrage of Platters. Hopefully, in the wake of this new law, we’ll maybe only have five Platters to choose from during break from the slots.